Aileen’s Book Club. A Review of ‘You are a Badass at Making Money’ written by Jen Sincero.
Okay, okay so it’s my first book review and the book club currently consists of one member, me. However, you are more than welcome to join, there’s no fees and it only costs you your engagement, so get involved!
As many might know, I recently joined the K2 Elite, a business accelerator program run by Kerwin Rae and Marie Newham. Two of Australia’s sharpest and giving minds. My first forte into K2 Elite, was participating in what’s called a Mastermind event. A Mastermind is a group of like-minded, experienced and intelligent business owners who come together to be essentially your brains trust. You go to them when you need a sounding board, they come to you when they need support, together you mastermind the strategies each of you must take to excel in business and in life. Now with this first Mastermind experience, it is necessary to be open and vulnerable or how else will you succeed if you allow your ego to deceive you? So, here I am, opening up to 10 perfect strangers of whom I’ve been carefully matched with, explaining how I work a lot for free. They instantly jump on this statement; they ask to dive deeper into why. I know why. I don’t want to dive deeper. It quickly becomes apparent this exercise isn’t about what we WANT, it’s about what we NEED. Without going into it (feel free to ask me next time we meet), there are members in the Mastermind who decree I need to understand my value and they charge me with the exercise to read a book that will help me change the subconscious and sometimes even conscious stories I tell myself and why I should ABSOLUTELY stop working for FREE, no matter my relationship with them for the effort, skills and energy I deliver to them and their businesses. No great shock, I’m sitting there in tears. Angry at myself but resolute that this shit is going to change.
Fast forward a couple of weeks, my book arrives. It is a bright green book. One that looks dare I say ‘potentially fun’ to read. It’s not too thick (phew), and just by reading the title, I already knew this writer’s style of language was on my level. The book, ‘You are a Badass at Making Money’. Written by Jen Sincero. A self-confessed money loather and only until of recent years, a money loafer as well.
Now not to brag, but back in the day, I had money. I had lots of money. I had money for holidays, although I didn’t use it for holidays because working to make more money was a bigger priority to me at the time (there were plans to retire at 50 to work towards). Money was so important that I only took 4 months of maternity leave as to ensure my capacity to earn it wasn’t diminished by becoming a Mum (Mum’s in corporate, I know you feel me). I had money for investments with three homes under my belt by 29 years old. I had nice cars, I had a job and a career that I adored. Money was not my enemy. I knew how to make it; I knew I was worth it, and I wasn’t scared enough to not take the leaps required to get more of it. So, what happened… well in short. Shit happened. Some things in my life fell apart. Like BIG things! I went into this spiral by which I very quickly started to believe I was no longer valued or valuable. I became scared to ask for money despite putting effort and energy into other people’s work and projects. I became scared to have to leave the one thing I still had that did value me. I wasn’t willing to lose time with him in exchange for money anymore. Money no longer became something I loved or respected. It became something I began to resent. It became easier to work for free than to risk the potential of someone saying, ‘oh, don’t worry about helping me, I don’t think you’re worth it’. It was rejection that I could no longer handle, so I mitigated the rejection by giving and giving but ultimately becoming more and more resentful of myself and money. My ego was in what felt like a choke hold (and not the sexy kind).
So, I open the book. I take a deep breath and I get into it. Now, for those who know me VERY well. I have a horrible track record at reading books. I was in fact the top of my class in English and Literature, however it would and still does take me an average of 12 months to read a single book. I’m not exaggerating. I have piles of books on my bedside table, all partially read, all requiring weekly dusting as I read a page or 5 here and there, start a new book and do the same with that. Now, this book, it had to be different. My Mastermind group gave me a deadline and I dare not let the herd down. I had one week to read it. One bloody week!! So, whilst others I was away on holidays with were on Facebook watching the multitude of news articles on the Australian bush fires, I tucked myself into a corner and began reading how it is that I am apparently a badass at making money. I go in with the intention of being entertained and enlightened. And my thanks to Jen, she didn’t disappoint.
The book mainly focuses on the bullshit stories we tell ourselves or the language we let others use that feeds our subconscious fears around wealth creation. Now in my conscious mind, I thought I loved money. Not in the greedy, immoral or unethical way but in the respectful and full of gratitude way. As it turns out, my subconscious has been working her tits off over the last few years to do what she can to feed my fears and see money as the bane of my life headaches, as something I only want as a way to survive, she certainly hasn’t been wanting me to get money to thrive, that’s for sure.
Now, with my new Mastermind group, I quickly came to the realisation that my subconscious needs a kick in the arse because I know better than anyone, money and I are mates. We’ve done some awesome stuff in the past! In Jen’s book, she gives you activity after activity to help you understand that to have wealth, to live in abundance, to need for nothing, you and money must be bff’s. You must respect each other. You must give to get. You must be specific in your goals. None of this being a money loafer like she was back in the day and expecting money to come her way just because she worked hard. Working hard is barely the tip of how one becomes a badass at making money it would seem. I’m reminded of the times when I would out of nowhere start having a sneezing fit. I would sneeze over and over, easily 15-20 times. It wouldn’t quit. My husband at the time got so tired of saying ‘bless you’, he no longer saw the point of it. Instead, he would tell me, ‘it’s all in your head’. Jen’s book is a little bit like that. It is the same message, over and over and like my sneezing, so much of this comes from what’s inside your head. What you imagine. What you quietly tell yourself. What you dream in your sleep. What you dream when you’re awake. It’s all in your head. The task lays there within. To take what is in your head and reshape it. Fuck off the rubbish, pick up the slack. Dust off the dreams you put on the shelf, ignore the haters (they’re not really haters, they love you, but they’re scared for you and what you can achieve without them). She helps you to learn how to build a relationship with money. I see you over there rolling your eyes, and that’s ok. You do you and I’m going to do Jen, wait no, that sounds wrong… I’m going to do what Jen suggests because well hey, why the hell not live a life of gratitude, re-formed stories, silver linings, life lessons, a new found love for money and the abundance that it brings to my life and the lives of those nearest and dearest. Why not work towards the dream that I see in my sleep and while I am awake. Why not believe I am valuable. Why not believe that I live in a world rich in cash and that because of me and cash being best buds, that heaps of that cash wants to hang out with me and do super cool shit for the greater good of those that support me. Sounds better than being poor and sad. Within Jen’s book, you will find countless exercises to help you reinforce the cult like message she is delivering. After joining K2 Elite, I’m starting to think cults are great 😉
I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND completing those activities. Yes, it adds another week to the reading, but this my friend is where the power lies. It lies in you no longer bullshitting yourself. Put everything down on paper (YES, PAPER). Write it. Read it back to yourself. DON’T BE ASHAMED! Fuck shame! Yes Mum, I swore again but seriously, FUCK SHAME! Wanting an abundant life is NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF! You are not crazy for wanting to be rich, for wanting money to enjoy your life, to build an empire, to create a legacy. I recently announced to some family friends that I was going to be a millionaire. I was very matter of fact and deadly serious. Yes, I am already 39, nearly 40 but hell, that’s still young compared to Colonel Sanders, he was 73! I got this! However, the group I announced this to in retort, pissed themselves laughing at me. I looked up as I was sitting, and they were all upstanding around me. I nodded my head in belief that this would be their response and stated, ‘that’s okay, I don’t need any of you to make it happen’. Their faces straightened up, realising I was serious as cancer and they replied, ‘oh no, good for you, go get em’.
So, here’s my point. After reading this book (in ONE WEEK) and completing the activities (plus some additionally poignant pieces that I felt I could replicate for my own life), I have consciously observed more and more the money stories I tell myself, knowingly and unknowingly. I have realised that I don’t have to lose the one thing that still values me in return for money and that if I’m smart (which I am), I MUST include him in on this adventure to ensure the money stories he grows up to tell himself are also full of respect and abundance. I want my child to become bff’s with money just like his Mum. I have realised and had it affirmed that I am valuable and even to the point that my own friends are willing to show me how valuable I am and are PAYING to attend my business workshops. By the way, don’t even dare sit there and say of course your friends will pay. It is my friends for whom I am regularly too scared to ask for money, so, this is actually huge! What’s even huger, is that they ALL have said ‘about time you start charging’. Like WTF? What was I so scared of? This leads me onto my last point. I am learning to get the fuck out of my own way. I never used to be in my own way. I used to go for it, didn’t matter what ‘it’ was, I just did it. That is what I need to learn to strategically get back to and after reading this book, I can say thanks to Jen and thanks to my Mastermind group, I now have the tools, the support and the skills to unashamedly, be a badass at making money!
How likely are you to recommend this book to your friends or colleagues? Zero being not at all and ten being highly recommend: